And so it begins

I am expecting more than a few surprised comments when I share this blog with friends and family, so let me give a little background as to how we came to be here…

Soon after our relationship became serious, John and I spoke about children; did or didn’t we want them and how would they shape our lives together? Luckily, we both wanted children (I would like two, where John would like three – the jury is still out as to where the count will stop) and we both agreed that if at all possible we would want one of us to stay home to raise them. Well, we played our cards right, and as luck would have it when I became pregnant we found ourselves closing escrow on a home that we could afford on one income and the luxury of a stay at home parent appeared more and more plausible for us.

It wasn’t always clear which of us would stay home, but as John began to enjoy his job more and more, and I started enjoying the travel requirement of my job less and less, the answer became obvious. In early June after becoming particularly distressed with the constant travel of my job (I had been travelling for 2.5 years at that point), I made the decision to take the month of July off. Not only did John support this decision (he hates seeing me unhappy – so sweet), it was perfect timing for all the projects our new house requires and for our move from apartment living into our first home.

By the end of July I wasn’t ready to leave the daily joys and hard work of our new home and return to the lonely, depressing, unsatisfying work and travel as an equity compensation consultant. I had been joking to friends and family during July that I was never going back to work (a possibility that John and I had already discussed many times), and as every new day began those jokes grew more and more appealing. There is something so satisfying about working around your house and keeping a home (especially when your husband is as appreciative as John) that for once in my life I felt happy and fulfilled at the end of a long weekday’s work. And now that I know work can be so fulfilling, I cannot imagine ever willingly going back to work as a corporate professional.

As clear and as obvious as this decision is now to me, I have already encountered criticism (after sharing this news with less than a dozen people, to boot!). I am not surprised by this. I too used to base my worth on my degrees, certifications, professional titles, and how much money I raked in every month. That’s the American way, right? Well, during July and early August as I contemplated my future and the future of my family, I had an epiphany: life will be only as good as you strive to make it.

At 29 I had already decided that 50-80 of my waking hours every week (between work and travel), would suck and that was just a fact of life. I had assumed that I would never be happy “working” and no amount of spending or saving the money I earned each week seemed to fill the hole or mend the disconnect this “fact” caused in my life. Since I have already had three distinct careers in my short time as a working professional (graphic designer for two years, stock broker for two years, and equity compensation consultant for 2.5 years) I was convinced it was not the job, it was me – but I was wrong.

Not only were these jobs wrong for me, the reason I worked these jobs was wrong for me. I did not work to satisfy my intellect or my creative side – I worked simply for the money. I did not choose a job because it was consistent with what’s important in my life (family, friends, laughter, satisfaction in a job well done, and let’s not forget good cheese and champagne!) but I let myself fall into jobs because they were lucrative, it was expected of me, and I was in the right place at the right time to fill them.

Again I find myself in the right place at the right time, yet I am also at a crossroads – one I believe more and more people of my generation negotiate. Do I continue to perform what is expected of me (expected because it is what I have always done in the past) to advance a professional career, or do I take a leap, follow my heart, and explore the less traveled road of this new opportunity? So, with the loving support of my husband, I chose not to return to my career. Instead I will spend the next few months working on the plethora of tasks yet to be completed on our home, while completing the many daily domestic duties that my husband and I used to struggle to complete during our busy work weeks.

Probably due to the criticism I have already encountered, I feel it necessary to remind skeptics of a little fact. If one were to add up the expenses for housekeeping, yard maintenance, eating out consistently and childcare, the cost of these services alone (not including the hundreds of other things we pay people to do yet can do ourselves) exceed the amount that a middle-class individual makes. So try to remember this if you find yourself dismissing the value, or criticizing the decision of a stay-at-home.

In just a few short months a whole new set of tasks, responsibilities and joys will grace our home, and it is my hope that because of this decision – which I feel very privileged to have the opportunity to make, that our family will grow to be happier, healthier and even stronger than we find ourselves today. So, if you have the interest, bookmark this blog and follow me on my journey as a stay-at- home. Please share your thoughts, suggestions, and advice as I sort through the challenges, responsibilities, triumphs and failures of my new role. Or, simply read along to find out what’s going on in my life (and going through my head) on any given day.