I am not sure I have written long enough in this blog to legitimately have blogger's block, but I definitely have not been writing/posting often enough over the last few months. Part of the reason for the dead air is that we have been crazy busy recently. John and I worked feverishly through October and November to prepare for our housewarming party (which by all accounts was a success), we recently returned from our good friends wedding in Denver and have been attending baby classes/reading baby books on top of it all.
But even with all the business, so many topics and thoughts have settled in my mind over the last few months (perfect fodder for this blog), and yet I have not been able to bring myself to sit and write about them. I have no idea why. I can make time for writing, but simply haven't.
So, no more excuses! I decided I would change this write-less funk I find myself in and simply write anyway (isn't that what you are taught in school - if you are stuck, write anyway, and eventually you will get back into a rhythm?). Hopefully this brief missive will be the first of many more to come! So many things to share (and I know there are those of you out there who like to keep up with our news through this blog) and I will try not to keep you all in the dark for so long again.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
To peak or not to peak?
Tomorrow (Monday 9/14) we have our 20-week ultrasound and the question on everyone's mind is whether or not we are going to take a peak at our little one's gender. This is the most common question I've encountered thus far in my pregnancy. Isn't it interesting that people are not only curious about our baby's gender, but they are curious about whether we are curious? I'm pretty sure that all the people who've asked the "peak or not to peak" question are peakers themselves.
Well, I too am a curious person and frankly I think that waiting 20 weeks for this information is long enough! John did not always share my opinion on this point, however. I remember at the very beginning, when people first started asking us this question, I was surprised that while I was certain that I wanted to know, John was ambivalent. How could he not want to know, I wondered? He is at least as curious a person as I am!
Since I am a fabulous wife and always eager to compromise, I promised John that if he did not want to know the gender, I would not tell him. I gave him no assurances that his friends and family would not let it slip, but I would not be the one to give him the news. And John, ever wise, not too long after my proclamation decided that it did not make much sense for me to know and not him.
I told you he was curious!
So tomorrow we hope to find out the gender. All the doctors (and many testimonies on the internet) remind us that this exam does not provide 100% assurance of gender and that mistakes are commonly made - especially when identifying females. The ultrasound requires that my bladder be full, an aspect I am really not looking forward to. We are scheduled for 8:45 am and must arrive 30 minutes early. An hour before we arrive I am to drink 16 oz of water and must hold it until the exam is over. As many of you are aware, pregnant woman use the restroom often. I in particular, after watching my fluid intake in the afternoon and evening, get up at night between 3 and 5 times now. I used to easily sleep through the night before pregnancy, and to be honest I am praying that our appointment will not be delayed as I am unsure I could hold the required fluids much longer than required.
No matter what happens, even if the baby does not cooperate and the gender cannot be guessed, I hope to have more pictures tomorrow to share and post to our new website. Stay tuned...
Well, I too am a curious person and frankly I think that waiting 20 weeks for this information is long enough! John did not always share my opinion on this point, however. I remember at the very beginning, when people first started asking us this question, I was surprised that while I was certain that I wanted to know, John was ambivalent. How could he not want to know, I wondered? He is at least as curious a person as I am!
Since I am a fabulous wife and always eager to compromise, I promised John that if he did not want to know the gender, I would not tell him. I gave him no assurances that his friends and family would not let it slip, but I would not be the one to give him the news. And John, ever wise, not too long after my proclamation decided that it did not make much sense for me to know and not him.
I told you he was curious!
So tomorrow we hope to find out the gender. All the doctors (and many testimonies on the internet) remind us that this exam does not provide 100% assurance of gender and that mistakes are commonly made - especially when identifying females. The ultrasound requires that my bladder be full, an aspect I am really not looking forward to. We are scheduled for 8:45 am and must arrive 30 minutes early. An hour before we arrive I am to drink 16 oz of water and must hold it until the exam is over. As many of you are aware, pregnant woman use the restroom often. I in particular, after watching my fluid intake in the afternoon and evening, get up at night between 3 and 5 times now. I used to easily sleep through the night before pregnancy, and to be honest I am praying that our appointment will not be delayed as I am unsure I could hold the required fluids much longer than required.
No matter what happens, even if the baby does not cooperate and the gender cannot be guessed, I hope to have more pictures tomorrow to share and post to our new website. Stay tuned...
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Pregnancy nose; a curse or a blessing?
For those of you who may not know, when a women becomes pregnant, often her sense of smell will increase. I can only speculate as to what causes this increase in our olfactory system, however, as it happens speculation is a hobby of mine.
My theory, which is without research, evidence, or testing, is that the heightened sense of smell is an attribute meant to promote the health and safety of the pregnant woman and hence the unborn fetus. Here's what I'm thinking: when humans used to roam as hunter/gatherers an increased sense of smell could inform a pregnant woman of a nearby predator, yet also alert her of food to gather that she may not have otherwise found. This makes sense to me, but really causation doesn't matter. If you were one of the lucky (or perhaps tortured?) ones privy to my missives from my two months living in India, you already know I had a good sense of smell prior to pregnancy and can probably imagine how well I am coping.
It's hard to describe how sensitive my nose is these days. Its not that I am smelling things I have never smelled before, but rather I smell things much more acutely than I used to. For example, when I stepped out my back door onto the patio this morning, I was accosted with smells that have always been there, but which I wouldn't usually smell individually or as distinctly as I do now. First I smelled the sweetness of freshly cut grass (John mowed 2 day ago) and the dirt under the lawn as moisture evaporated from last night's sprinklers. I smelled the rich scent of wood from the fence where the sun was beginning to bake it, the spicy smell of roses encircling our yard, coffee from a neighbor's house, and the citrus scent of lemon mint growing as a weed next to our home. Where all these things would once have blended together to become one, insignificant smell, barely recognized and quickly dismissed, I am now thoroughly aware of and experience them each individually. Oh, and how could I forget the scent of excrement from the neighbor's chihuahua as I describe my morning smell experience?
Yes, as you can imagine there are many, many things in this world that are not pleasant to smell. Although, contrary to my experience in India, not all scents in my current environment torment me. Take for example a trip for groceries or to the farmer's market. Before I even enter the produce and fruit stalls, the smells of the ripe fruits surround me - an experience like breathing honey. The scents are so strong I can almost see their perfume in the air, coloring the atmosphere. Several times, I have stopped in the middle of foot traffic, sniffing around like a bloodhound searching for the exact stall from which the scent of strawberries (or whatever) is located.
You can imagine the looks I get - even from John whose patient expression is a mix of concern over my peculiar behavior and amused curiosity about what the heck I am doing now. Before pregnancy, I ate fruit because I knew it was good for me, not because I particularly enjoyed it. The savory flavors of vegetables have always been my preference, and overall I would not have considered myself as having a sweet tooth. So now when I bring home creamy cantaloupes, tangy berries or piquant pineapples, John and even I am surprised. When John asks about my fruity purchases, I simply shrug and say... "Baby likes them."
My theory, which is without research, evidence, or testing, is that the heightened sense of smell is an attribute meant to promote the health and safety of the pregnant woman and hence the unborn fetus. Here's what I'm thinking: when humans used to roam as hunter/gatherers an increased sense of smell could inform a pregnant woman of a nearby predator, yet also alert her of food to gather that she may not have otherwise found. This makes sense to me, but really causation doesn't matter. If you were one of the lucky (or perhaps tortured?) ones privy to my missives from my two months living in India, you already know I had a good sense of smell prior to pregnancy and can probably imagine how well I am coping.
It's hard to describe how sensitive my nose is these days. Its not that I am smelling things I have never smelled before, but rather I smell things much more acutely than I used to. For example, when I stepped out my back door onto the patio this morning, I was accosted with smells that have always been there, but which I wouldn't usually smell individually or as distinctly as I do now. First I smelled the sweetness of freshly cut grass (John mowed 2 day ago) and the dirt under the lawn as moisture evaporated from last night's sprinklers. I smelled the rich scent of wood from the fence where the sun was beginning to bake it, the spicy smell of roses encircling our yard, coffee from a neighbor's house, and the citrus scent of lemon mint growing as a weed next to our home. Where all these things would once have blended together to become one, insignificant smell, barely recognized and quickly dismissed, I am now thoroughly aware of and experience them each individually. Oh, and how could I forget the scent of excrement from the neighbor's chihuahua as I describe my morning smell experience?
Yes, as you can imagine there are many, many things in this world that are not pleasant to smell. Although, contrary to my experience in India, not all scents in my current environment torment me. Take for example a trip for groceries or to the farmer's market. Before I even enter the produce and fruit stalls, the smells of the ripe fruits surround me - an experience like breathing honey. The scents are so strong I can almost see their perfume in the air, coloring the atmosphere. Several times, I have stopped in the middle of foot traffic, sniffing around like a bloodhound searching for the exact stall from which the scent of strawberries (or whatever) is located.
You can imagine the looks I get - even from John whose patient expression is a mix of concern over my peculiar behavior and amused curiosity about what the heck I am doing now. Before pregnancy, I ate fruit because I knew it was good for me, not because I particularly enjoyed it. The savory flavors of vegetables have always been my preference, and overall I would not have considered myself as having a sweet tooth. So now when I bring home creamy cantaloupes, tangy berries or piquant pineapples, John and even I am surprised. When John asks about my fruity purchases, I simply shrug and say... "Baby likes them."
Friday, August 21, 2009
Varnishing cabinets: probably not something you should do while pregnant!
We run into this a lot.
There are so many tasks that need to be completed on our house; some just so we can get unpacked, some that are DIY tasks to improve our home, and some that are added to the list after I've given a room a thorough cleaning. This is one of those "post cleaning tasks" and as I was about half-way through, it occurred to me that the fumes were probably not good for me.
Usually John prohibits me from these sorts of unsafe-while-pregnant tasks, but somehow I started this one before either of us contemplated whether it was appropriate. Well, it's done now and boy do those cabinets look nice! It is so hard for me not to do the most pressing task on the list simply because John does not want me to as it may be harmful (and probably my OB would agree if she knew).
I am so not used to this!
Always before if something needed to be done, no matter how gross or undesirable the task, I would pitch in and get it done. I know I should look at pregnancy as a sort of break from these tasks, but I'm really having a hard time seeing it that way. Part of the attraction for me to be a stay-at-home is that I could help free up more time for John after work and on weekends. With all these off-limits tasks, and those that John just wants to do - usually because they involve power tools, his list is terribly long and keeps getting longer. Since my pregnancy has been so easy thus far it is hard to reconcile my desire to complete these unpleasant tasks with the knowledge that I am pregnant after all, and John is most likely right.
The good news is that there are still plenty of "safe" tasks for me to do and to keep me busy for quite some time! Nothing like a few hours of cleaning to clear ones mind, eh?
There are so many tasks that need to be completed on our house; some just so we can get unpacked, some that are DIY tasks to improve our home, and some that are added to the list after I've given a room a thorough cleaning. This is one of those "post cleaning tasks" and as I was about half-way through, it occurred to me that the fumes were probably not good for me.
Usually John prohibits me from these sorts of unsafe-while-pregnant tasks, but somehow I started this one before either of us contemplated whether it was appropriate. Well, it's done now and boy do those cabinets look nice! It is so hard for me not to do the most pressing task on the list simply because John does not want me to as it may be harmful (and probably my OB would agree if she knew).
I am so not used to this!
Always before if something needed to be done, no matter how gross or undesirable the task, I would pitch in and get it done. I know I should look at pregnancy as a sort of break from these tasks, but I'm really having a hard time seeing it that way. Part of the attraction for me to be a stay-at-home is that I could help free up more time for John after work and on weekends. With all these off-limits tasks, and those that John just wants to do - usually because they involve power tools, his list is terribly long and keeps getting longer. Since my pregnancy has been so easy thus far it is hard to reconcile my desire to complete these unpleasant tasks with the knowledge that I am pregnant after all, and John is most likely right.
The good news is that there are still plenty of "safe" tasks for me to do and to keep me busy for quite some time! Nothing like a few hours of cleaning to clear ones mind, eh?
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
And so it begins
I am expecting more than a few surprised comments when I share this blog with friends and family, so let me give a little background as to how we came to be here…
Soon after our relationship became serious, John and I spoke about children; did or didn’t we want them and how would they shape our lives together? Luckily, we both wanted children (I would like two, where John would like three – the jury is still out as to where the count will stop) and we both agreed that if at all possible we would want one of us to stay home to raise them. Well, we played our cards right, and as luck would have it when I became pregnant we found ourselves closing escrow on a home that we could afford on one income and the luxury of a stay at home parent appeared more and more plausible for us.
It wasn’t always clear which of us would stay home, but as John began to enjoy his job more and more, and I started enjoying the travel requirement of my job less and less, the answer became obvious. In early June after becoming particularly distressed with the constant travel of my job (I had been travelling for 2.5 years at that point), I made the decision to take the month of July off. Not only did John support this decision (he hates seeing me unhappy – so sweet), it was perfect timing for all the projects our new house requires and for our move from apartment living into our first home.
By the end of July I wasn’t ready to leave the daily joys and hard work of our new home and return to the lonely, depressing, unsatisfying work and travel as an equity compensation consultant. I had been joking to friends and family during July that I was never going back to work (a possibility that John and I had already discussed many times), and as every new day began those jokes grew more and more appealing. There is something so satisfying about working around your house and keeping a home (especially when your husband is as appreciative as John) that for once in my life I felt happy and fulfilled at the end of a long weekday’s work. And now that I know work can be so fulfilling, I cannot imagine ever willingly going back to work as a corporate professional.
As clear and as obvious as this decision is now to me, I have already encountered criticism (after sharing this news with less than a dozen people, to boot!). I am not surprised by this. I too used to base my worth on my degrees, certifications, professional titles, and how much money I raked in every month. That’s the American way, right? Well, during July and early August as I contemplated my future and the future of my family, I had an epiphany: life will be only as good as you strive to make it.
At 29 I had already decided that 50-80 of my waking hours every week (between work and travel), would suck and that was just a fact of life. I had assumed that I would never be happy “working” and no amount of spending or saving the money I earned each week seemed to fill the hole or mend the disconnect this “fact” caused in my life. Since I have already had three distinct careers in my short time as a working professional (graphic designer for two years, stock broker for two years, and equity compensation consultant for 2.5 years) I was convinced it was not the job, it was me – but I was wrong.
Not only were these jobs wrong for me, the reason I worked these jobs was wrong for me. I did not work to satisfy my intellect or my creative side – I worked simply for the money. I did not choose a job because it was consistent with what’s important in my life (family, friends, laughter, satisfaction in a job well done, and let’s not forget good cheese and champagne!) but I let myself fall into jobs because they were lucrative, it was expected of me, and I was in the right place at the right time to fill them.
Again I find myself in the right place at the right time, yet I am also at a crossroads – one I believe more and more people of my generation negotiate. Do I continue to perform what is expected of me (expected because it is what I have always done in the past) to advance a professional career, or do I take a leap, follow my heart, and explore the less traveled road of this new opportunity? So, with the loving support of my husband, I chose not to return to my career. Instead I will spend the next few months working on the plethora of tasks yet to be completed on our home, while completing the many daily domestic duties that my husband and I used to struggle to complete during our busy work weeks.
Probably due to the criticism I have already encountered, I feel it necessary to remind skeptics of a little fact. If one were to add up the expenses for housekeeping, yard maintenance, eating out consistently and childcare, the cost of these services alone (not including the hundreds of other things we pay people to do yet can do ourselves) exceed the amount that a middle-class individual makes. So try to remember this if you find yourself dismissing the value, or criticizing the decision of a stay-at-home.
In just a few short months a whole new set of tasks, responsibilities and joys will grace our home, and it is my hope that because of this decision – which I feel very privileged to have the opportunity to make, that our family will grow to be happier, healthier and even stronger than we find ourselves today. So, if you have the interest, bookmark this blog and follow me on my journey as a stay-at- home. Please share your thoughts, suggestions, and advice as I sort through the challenges, responsibilities, triumphs and failures of my new role. Or, simply read along to find out what’s going on in my life (and going through my head) on any given day.
Soon after our relationship became serious, John and I spoke about children; did or didn’t we want them and how would they shape our lives together? Luckily, we both wanted children (I would like two, where John would like three – the jury is still out as to where the count will stop) and we both agreed that if at all possible we would want one of us to stay home to raise them. Well, we played our cards right, and as luck would have it when I became pregnant we found ourselves closing escrow on a home that we could afford on one income and the luxury of a stay at home parent appeared more and more plausible for us.
It wasn’t always clear which of us would stay home, but as John began to enjoy his job more and more, and I started enjoying the travel requirement of my job less and less, the answer became obvious. In early June after becoming particularly distressed with the constant travel of my job (I had been travelling for 2.5 years at that point), I made the decision to take the month of July off. Not only did John support this decision (he hates seeing me unhappy – so sweet), it was perfect timing for all the projects our new house requires and for our move from apartment living into our first home.
By the end of July I wasn’t ready to leave the daily joys and hard work of our new home and return to the lonely, depressing, unsatisfying work and travel as an equity compensation consultant. I had been joking to friends and family during July that I was never going back to work (a possibility that John and I had already discussed many times), and as every new day began those jokes grew more and more appealing. There is something so satisfying about working around your house and keeping a home (especially when your husband is as appreciative as John) that for once in my life I felt happy and fulfilled at the end of a long weekday’s work. And now that I know work can be so fulfilling, I cannot imagine ever willingly going back to work as a corporate professional.
As clear and as obvious as this decision is now to me, I have already encountered criticism (after sharing this news with less than a dozen people, to boot!). I am not surprised by this. I too used to base my worth on my degrees, certifications, professional titles, and how much money I raked in every month. That’s the American way, right? Well, during July and early August as I contemplated my future and the future of my family, I had an epiphany: life will be only as good as you strive to make it.
At 29 I had already decided that 50-80 of my waking hours every week (between work and travel), would suck and that was just a fact of life. I had assumed that I would never be happy “working” and no amount of spending or saving the money I earned each week seemed to fill the hole or mend the disconnect this “fact” caused in my life. Since I have already had three distinct careers in my short time as a working professional (graphic designer for two years, stock broker for two years, and equity compensation consultant for 2.5 years) I was convinced it was not the job, it was me – but I was wrong.
Not only were these jobs wrong for me, the reason I worked these jobs was wrong for me. I did not work to satisfy my intellect or my creative side – I worked simply for the money. I did not choose a job because it was consistent with what’s important in my life (family, friends, laughter, satisfaction in a job well done, and let’s not forget good cheese and champagne!) but I let myself fall into jobs because they were lucrative, it was expected of me, and I was in the right place at the right time to fill them.
Again I find myself in the right place at the right time, yet I am also at a crossroads – one I believe more and more people of my generation negotiate. Do I continue to perform what is expected of me (expected because it is what I have always done in the past) to advance a professional career, or do I take a leap, follow my heart, and explore the less traveled road of this new opportunity? So, with the loving support of my husband, I chose not to return to my career. Instead I will spend the next few months working on the plethora of tasks yet to be completed on our home, while completing the many daily domestic duties that my husband and I used to struggle to complete during our busy work weeks.
Probably due to the criticism I have already encountered, I feel it necessary to remind skeptics of a little fact. If one were to add up the expenses for housekeeping, yard maintenance, eating out consistently and childcare, the cost of these services alone (not including the hundreds of other things we pay people to do yet can do ourselves) exceed the amount that a middle-class individual makes. So try to remember this if you find yourself dismissing the value, or criticizing the decision of a stay-at-home.
In just a few short months a whole new set of tasks, responsibilities and joys will grace our home, and it is my hope that because of this decision – which I feel very privileged to have the opportunity to make, that our family will grow to be happier, healthier and even stronger than we find ourselves today. So, if you have the interest, bookmark this blog and follow me on my journey as a stay-at- home. Please share your thoughts, suggestions, and advice as I sort through the challenges, responsibilities, triumphs and failures of my new role. Or, simply read along to find out what’s going on in my life (and going through my head) on any given day.
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